It's impossible to walk very fast, the crowds are so intense, and the walkways narrow and full of street vendors. When it seems like there couldn't possibly be any more people in one block, it gets worse. I hang onto my bag; I can no longer walk in the direction I choose, the only choice is to move along with the crowd. I look over and see the reason why. The Princess is in a gold shop picking out a new piece of jewelry and everyone wants to get a look.
In the West, crowds of this level of intensity are a rare thing; happening typically only in the "mosh pit" of a punk concert. Traffic is similarly congested, to say the least; Bangkok is said to have the worst in the world. In such situations in Western cities, the reaction is all too common. Anger. Road rage. Shouting. An occasional fistfight or even a shooting. Here in Bangkok, one just savors the moment, waits, and says, "Mai bpen rai." It doesn't matter, it's okay.
It's an attitude that sets Thailand apart from the West, deeply rooted in the country's Buddhist mores. There's no need to be in a hurry here. Recently I was anxious about getting to my dentist's office on time, the taxi was stuck in a traffic jam. We had left an hour earlier, but the dentist's office was still nowhere in sight and traffic inched along slowly as the driver chatted absent-mindedly about his children, and asked me where I was from. Looking at my watch for the twentieth time, I asked my wife when my appointment was. "This afternoon," she said.
"What time this afternoon?" I asked anxiously, all too aware of the Western standard of timeliness, and the tendency of doctors' offices to charge fees when you don't show up for an appointment. "This afternoon," she repeated. "Don't worry. Mai bpen rai." In Thailand, you don't have an appointment at 1:00, or 2:00, or 3:00. You have a morning appointment, or an afternoon appointment. You show up some time within that four hour time span, and get served. About an hour later, we walked into the dentist's office, she greeted me with a typical Thai smile and got to work fixing my teeth, saying nothing about the time. Nothing like a nice root canal after a two hour traffic jam.
The Sights
When you first come to Bangkok, you will no doubt have a list of things to see, cribbed from one of the many travel books available at your local bookstore. And yes indeed, the Grand Palace, the floating market, and the magnificent golden temple must not be missed. And of course, everyone should take at least one ride in a tuk-tuk, Bangkok's ubiquitous three-wheeled motorcycle taxis. Khao San Road and its cheap guest houses and coffeeshops is worth a passing look (although there are more Westerners there than locals). But after a few weeks, you will run through the obligatory canon of tourist "things to do." You hunger for a deeper look into this strange and foreign place. When writers speak of exploring "the mysteries of the Orient," they're not just whistling Dixie. There are mysteries and adventures out there that your travel book won't tell you about; some perhaps that will shock your Western sensibilities; and some that you will carry with you for the rest of your life.
Stray Dogs, Monkeys, Elephants and Other Creatures
They will sing to you.
At night, open your window and listen. Huge insects (which in the daytime may end up in the cooking pot in some of the more rural areas), frogs, dogs, monkeys, tropical birds and lizards. Yes, lizards do sing, I didn't know that until I saw a foot-long tuu-keht outside my window one night, and heard its loud "tuu-keht, tuu-keht" cry, from which it gets its name.
If you have a meal at one of the many open-air restaurants, more often than not your meal will be overseen by at least one stray dog, who will sit quietly by your table, looking up at you and waiting for a tasty bit of your dinner. Although the strays are wild and one must be careful, they are remarkably docile and friendly, although usually quite scruffy looking. Their nature is one of acceptance. Woof woof woof mai bpen rai. They are Buddhist dogs.
My wife calls them "temple dogs." Not only are these dogs Buddhist, they are smart. They know where to go for a good meal, and they know very well that Buddhist monks will make merit by taking care of them and feeding them. There are, of course, too many of them, but they seem to co-exist with other beings quite well. People sometimes go to the temple to adopt one; and His Majesty the King himself not only encourages his people to do this, but he practices it himself. The King's number one hound, Tongdaeng, was born a common stray.
A trip outside of the city to Lopburi will give you a rare treat. In downtown Lopburi, wild macaque monkeys share the streets with people, dodging in and out of traffic, crawling on the sides of buildings, and generally making a marvelous spectacle of themselves. They are used to people, and see us as convenient creatures who bring them food, but don't get too close. They are, after all, wild animals with sharp teeth, and despite their tame appearance, will occasionally bite. Food vendors and grocers often put out offerings for them; you can often see bands of the macaques hungrily devouring a pile of day-old vegetables next to the market.
If you're lucky, you'll see a wandering elephant and its mahout (owner/trainer), strolling through the streets of the city. In front of a shopping mall, I could hear an occasional girlish "shriek," and turned around to see a mahout with his elephant. The elephant was fond of reaching out with its trunk to pat passing ladies on the bottom. Twenty baht (about 50 cents) would buy you a bunch of bananas and the right to feed the roguish behemoth, and take as many pictures as you like. And of course, taking an elephant ride is something that should be on everybody's list.
Siamese Culture
Bangkok's Joe Louis Theater is home to the only troupe of traditional Siamese theatrical puppetry. Each of the large puppets takes three people to manage, and each of the puppeteers must be trained in traditional Siamese dance themselves, as they dance along with the puppets as they play out their own rendition of the traditional Ramayana. The delightfully funny puppets are exceptionally fond of going out into the audience and teasing visitors, occasionally grabbing an unsuspecting lady's handbag and making her go up onstage to retrieve it. The performance itself is outstanding; and you'll also appreciate just taking a close look at the detailed craftsmanship that went into hand-making each of the puppets. "Joe Louis" himself (whose real name is unpronounceable to Westerners) was personally responsible for reviving this style of puppetry.
One can often catch a traditional dance performance at special events and festivals, complete with traditional music. Performances are also held regularly at the Vimanmek Mansion in Bangkok, which is in itself a brilliant study of architecture built by King Chulalongkorn in 1900. The musical instruments themselves are fascinating and varied, producing a range of tones unlike any other you can find in the West. The dancers, in full traditional garb, are wonderfully graceful. In addition, each of the many different hill tribes, which live in the more remote areas in the north of Thailand, have their own style of dance and colorful clothing, each one more wonderful than the last.
Just outside of town is Koh Kret, unofficially known as "pottery island," where the Mon people have settled, and make their living making and selling wonderful hand-crafted pottery items. Besides getting some great deals on some highly decorative goods, it's just a beautiful place to go spend an afternoon. For less than a dollar, you can sit and enjoy a cup of chilled, Thai-style coffee served in a hand-made ceramic pot, and you can take the pot home with you. And while you're by the river, take one of the hour long riverboat tours to get a look at Bangkok from a different point of view. From the river, you'll be able to see majestic temples, rows of ramshackle homes on stilts, and children enjoying themselves, diving from their living rooms into the water.
The Food
The cuisine of Bangkok will delight you in the most unusual and unexpected ways. There are, to be sure, hundreds of elegant restaurants that cater mostly to foreign visitors. The cuisine is exquisite, offering a mix of Thai and European flavors, and their décor is tasteful and eminently Thai. But let's go a little off the beaten path here. Along the Chao Phraya River that flows through the city, there are a number of riverfront restaurants with outdoor dining, specializing in exotic seafood that starts with the largest river prawns I have ever seen, and includes horseshoe crab, shark's fin soup, and a variety of unknown but very tasty mollusks and shellfish.
One must however, try the "footpath restaurants" that are scattered throughout the city. These low-budget eateries show up on the sidewalks at about 4:00 or so, when the restaurateur backs his pickup truck onto the sidewalk and unloads a dozen or so plastic folding tables, a couple woks and a propane tank. You can often find dinner there for about a dollar, and if you can make your way through the menu, which unlike those of the more upscale restaurants that have actual walls, is not available in English, you will enjoy some of Thailand's more unusual dishes. On my first visit to one of these, I enjoyed a plate of fried fish bladders, happily oblivious as to what they really were until my wife told me (but not until after I had eaten them). For those who may be less adventurous, it's easy to find footpath restaurants selling more common and recognizable food, such as noodles, dim sum, fried rice or pad thai. In some of the rural areas, you will find food stalls selling fried beetles, grubs and grasshoppers.
Shopping
If you go strolling into the bazaar wearing cargo pants, sandals with socks, three or four guidebooks sticking out of your pockets and two cameras hanging from around your neck, you will get some deals. They won't be very good deals, but they will be deals.
There are of course, shopping malls, which for the most part, look like shopping malls in the West. The real excitement comes when you go to the bazaar. Bangkok's famous Chatujak Market has thousands of small vendors selling virtually everything you could imagine and some things you wouldn't want to. The Suan Lum Night Bazaar, where the Joe Louis Theater is located, also offers some great deals and unusual items; similarly, in almost every neighborhood, you will find vendors on the sidewalk, hawking everything from Thai silks to hand-made jewelry.
Vendors are almost always willing to negotiate, but they recognize a tourist with too much money when they see one, so don't hesitate to ask for a lower price than what they quote you initially.
When you're in Bangkok, look beyond the grand and glorious and don't forget to enjoy the many small things that make this such a mysterious place. Stop to look at the orchids that grow everywhere. Enjoy some unusual food from a street vendor. Give a bite of food to a temple dog. Enjoy the scent of the jasmine. Leave your worries in the West. Mai bpen rai.
